


More Distant and More Solemn

by psithurism



Series: Space BFFs [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aftermath, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Gen, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Spoilers, THIS IS SELF-INDULGENT, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-25 21:45:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18583189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psithurism/pseuds/psithurism
Summary: Part of the journey is the end.





	More Distant and More Solemn

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for the movie! I had to write this after seeing the movie. I included this also in the Space BFFs series because it's in the same continuity, anyway. Title is from 'The Hollow Men' by T.S. Eliot.
> 
> Phew, what a ride, MCU.

When Tony opens his eyes, there is a slight disorientation that shudders throughout his body, and he gasps and looks above and sees the vibrant blue sky, a shade that he hasn’t seen for years. And around him are flowers – a field of flowers that stretches as far as his eyes can see. Wonderful, colorful, beautiful flowers.

“Fancy seeing you here.”

He turns and his heart leaps. Something burns in his throat. His vision blurs, wet. He blinks the tears away.

Natasha smiles at him.

“Did we win?”

 

+

 

He tells everything to Natasha, that night. There’s a house a few hundred meters off where he woke up, and a lake that’s not unlike where he settled with Pepper and Morgan. That’s where they stay, and Natasha isn’t alone. There’s a woman Tony recognizes as Gamora, remembering Quill’s and Nebula’s descriptions of her.

“I didn’t know that you had to trade a life for the Soul Stone; we only found out after Clint returned, alone,” Tony says, after Natasha shares her story.

“The price has to be of equal value,” Gamora says.

A little later, Tony has to stop his tears again when Vision returns, apparently from another round of exploring.

“So, this is like, Thanos’s farm, but with an endless garden and a fancy house?”

Natasha glances at Gamora and Vision. “Seems like it.”

Gamora quirks her lips. “It’s _our_ farm.”

Tony leans back from his seat and exhales, long and a little like relief. “I don't believe in afterlife, but hey, I’m not complaining.”

 

+

 

“I want you to know,” Tony tells Gamora, “that Nebula never stopped thinking about you.”

Gamora pauses from what she’s doing and gives him a tremulous smile.

“Quill too.”

“I’m glad.”

Tony waits a bit, and then asks, “Do you miss them?”

That tremble eventually becomes a sob, and Gamora nods. Tony takes a few steps closer and thinks of putting his hand on her shoulder. Just like how Nebula supported him, in space.

He pats her shoulder, twice. Says:

“I miss them, too.” And then other faces appear in his mind, burning bright. “I miss them all, too.”

 

+

 

“You should’ve seen Wanda – how she kicked Thanos’s ass like it was nothing.”

They’re in the middle of the lake on a creaky boat, with Tony teaching Vision how to fish. Tony doesn’t know if there are even fishes in this realm.

“I’m happy,” Vision says, “that Wanda is alive.”

Tony smiles. “And I’m happy that you’re here.”

Vision stares at him.

“Well, being dead sucks, but.” Tony breathes out loud. “ _You,_ being _here._ And you didn’t just cease to exist like a thing. You’re alive.” Tony pauses. “Except dead now. But you’re like us, and not just some android powered by an Infinity Stone.”

Vision continues to stare at him, but after a few seconds he chuckles. “I understand what you mean.”

“Good. So are there electric sheep stotting around here?”

“Not that I’m aware. We haven’t found the edge of this world.”

“Hm. It really does feel like this place goes beyond infinity.”

“Indeed.”

They continue fishing, and it turns out that there _are_ fishes in the lake. Tony feels a little triumph at that.

Later, when he flaunts their victory to Natasha and Gamora, who are only slightly impressed, Vision looks at Tony – face solemn and without the gleam of the Mind Stone on his forehead – and tells him: “As long as we won, and Wanda and the others are alive and safe, I am content.”

For the first time since waking up in this dreamy afterlife, Tony feels like something slotted into place, and he can breathe easy.

 

+

 

But there are times when it’s still hard.

“Did you know that Cap can now wield Thor’s hammer?”

Natasha lifts her head from her book and smiles.

“I’m not surprised.”

“Yeah. He’s always been worthy, despite what happened in the past.”

“Tony.”

“It’s just. I still think about it – the what-could’ve-beens. If we faced Thanos together, the first time.”

He feels Natasha’s hand above his, and he can’t bring himself to see what her expression is.

“But when Doctor Strange came back, and gave me the sign, I knew. I just knew. This is the only way.”

“Tony, look at me.”

Natasha’s other hand lands on his cheek, and gently lifts his face towards her. She’s smiling, but her eyes are glassy. When she speaks again, her voice wobbles.

“No regrets?”

Tony mirrors her smile. He grasps her hand as well.

“No regrets.”

 

+

 

The morning sun arrives with the twittering of birds, and Tony watches it from the veranda. Inside the house, Gamora and Natasha are conversing amid breakfast. Vision is floating at the lake, searching for more fish. A gust of wind passes through, scattering a handful of leaves and petals, painting the scene with a resplendent sight.

When Stephen Strange had looked at him, during the battle, and had given him the sign, Tony knew what he had to do. A war is not without sacrifices, and a journey has to have an end. Either way, this right here – this is more than enough.

From his seat, Tony closes his eyes, and feels at peace.

**Author's Note:**

> I want, like, a cracky series of Team Dead shenanigans in the afterlife, to stave away my grief for Tony, Natasha, and the others.


End file.
